Whew...that was close.

The window glass has been replaced.
And I didn't have to make any trips to the home improvement store.
That intrepid researcher, Peggie, found out that National Glass replaces window glass. So I called them this morning, and they came out this afternoon. They did the repair sans ladder, from inside. I watched and learned. I learned that if it happens again, I will call them again. There were screws on the outside that you had to know about. The window, having sat unmoving for twenty- five years, had to be pried out. So you had to know how many and where all the screws were, then have the confidence in that knowledge to pry in the right places, while holding the window with the other hand, because when it came loose, it would fall all the way to the ground. Oh, and you had to take the air conditioner out, which takes two people, and put it back in, which takes two people and a trained monkey. It took all of twenty minutes.
So now we know a lot about modern windows. For instance, they cost a lot.
Not every window company can replace glass without rebuilding your home.
And stupid doves are really more trouble than they are worth.
To review: I made no trips to the store, I didn't break anything (especially not a bone), I did not have to use even half of my swearing vocabulary, I didn't bleed, Peggie didn't say "I told you so."
And of course, the nutballs are licking egg from their faces and dining on crow. The more creative nutballs are coming up with a revised date for the apocalypse. I hope they remain wrong.