Background: You may or may not have noticed in our pictures, the pipeline next to Pitchfork Falls. The waterfall is a popular photo stop. The pipeline brings water to the hydroelectic plant we visited earlier, and which we featured in our blog. Naturally, we have to explain the prominent pipeline next to the falls to the tourists.
I told Don that on the last tour day I am going to tell tourists that several years ago the glacier feeding the falls finally melted away and the falls stopped flowing. The city tourist bureau, knowing how popular the falls were, decided to do something, so they had the pipeline constructed to take river water up to the top of the canyon and make the picturesque falls flow once again. Don told his (young naive) drivers this.
Today Don and Karin got to go as tourists on the jeep tour. The guide informed the crowd that the pipeline carried water to the top of the falls. After waiting a bit for the punchline, Don realized what had happened. The guide was aghast. "Do you know how many tourists I've told that to?"
I wondered if I would be able to sell that story to tourists. Apparently it was an easy sale.
Friday, August 7, 2009
My response to the complainer
In the time I've been here, I have carried hundreds of customers on tour. I have spoken with other drivers and we all agree that the overwhelming majority of people are pleased with everything. They tell us how good it was as they get off the bus, and of course, they tip us. We get many more customers who tell us we were recommended by previous customers than we get complaints. Nevertheless, something in our psyche forces us to focus on the Negative Nellies we occasionally get.
An email came into the office from a customer on a tour I drove last month. Dave asked for my reaction. Here is the way I would answer if I was the boss:
Dear Soandso,
Thank you for your comments on our tour package. We always appreciate customer feedback so that we may continue to offer the best tour product at the most affordable price.
Let me address each issue separately.
I am aware that the buses can be a bit noisy at times. The combination of 18 people talking, the wind outside, the large open carriage, and the rattles that come of driving over poorly maintained highways for 20 years make for a noisier ride than a late model Lexus may provide.
I discussed the non-functioning window with your driver, who informs me that as soon as you informed him of the problem, he provided a temporary solution to keep the cold out, then repaired the window as soon as the bus was at the destination. I wonder why you didn't simply move to one of the seven empty seats if the window was such an annoyance to you.
We receive many enthusiastic compliments on the lunch provided at the destination. I am sorry it was not to your satisfaction. Perhaps you did not notice that in order to serve several hundred people in a short time it is necessary to have hot coffee and tea set out cafeteria style rather than providing table service. The rolls and donuts are likewise set out in advance for speed and convenience as well as to keep costs down. I will suggest to the food manager that the bread come straight from the oven, and the donuts fresh from the fryer so that future diners, who will, of course, pay more, will not have to suffer through room temperature bread products.
Puppies lives revolve through five cycles: sleep, eat, sleep, play, sleep. The breeder has informed me that, try as she might, she cannot induce them to play the entire time the tourists are there, as they wear out from all the attention and must nap from time to time. They do not perform by the clock as do trained circus animals.
Likewise, your failure to see wildlife is wholly due to their wildness. We cannot compel them to appear on demand without taking away the wild part of the description. Captive animals are available for viewing in zoos all over the world.
Finally, you say the gold panning was cheesy and boring. Really? You didn't find gold with greater value than the cost of the activiy? If it was gambling you were after, you might have chosen a different cruise destination. The panning activity is wholly for the purpose of learning the technique for isolating the gold from the sand and gravel. It is designed to be entertaining, not adventurous.
As to refunding all or part of your money, let me suggest that you come back to Skagway another time. At no cost to you I will provide the following: sourdough starter, coffee, dried beans, basic cooking utensils, tent, blanket, shovel, and gold pan. I will take you to a creek where you can prospect for gold while standing knee deep in near freezing water. I will stop by at the end of a week to see how you are doing. If you have found enough gold to pay your passage, I will return you to Skagway for the trip home. If not, you may stay at the creek for another week. Be sure to keep the coffee and sourdough hot so the meals will be satisfactory. Knowing that you must find gold to pay your way out will keep it from being boring or cheesy. If you have one, you may bring with you a dog who never sleeps. He might come in handy in alerting you when wildlife is in the area.
Again, thank you for your comments. We continually strive to improve our service and product while keeping the costs affordable.
Your request for refund has been denied by the board of review at this time.
An email came into the office from a customer on a tour I drove last month. Dave asked for my reaction. Here is the way I would answer if I was the boss:
Dear Soandso,
Thank you for your comments on our tour package. We always appreciate customer feedback so that we may continue to offer the best tour product at the most affordable price.
Let me address each issue separately.
I am aware that the buses can be a bit noisy at times. The combination of 18 people talking, the wind outside, the large open carriage, and the rattles that come of driving over poorly maintained highways for 20 years make for a noisier ride than a late model Lexus may provide.
I discussed the non-functioning window with your driver, who informs me that as soon as you informed him of the problem, he provided a temporary solution to keep the cold out, then repaired the window as soon as the bus was at the destination. I wonder why you didn't simply move to one of the seven empty seats if the window was such an annoyance to you.
We receive many enthusiastic compliments on the lunch provided at the destination. I am sorry it was not to your satisfaction. Perhaps you did not notice that in order to serve several hundred people in a short time it is necessary to have hot coffee and tea set out cafeteria style rather than providing table service. The rolls and donuts are likewise set out in advance for speed and convenience as well as to keep costs down. I will suggest to the food manager that the bread come straight from the oven, and the donuts fresh from the fryer so that future diners, who will, of course, pay more, will not have to suffer through room temperature bread products.
Puppies lives revolve through five cycles: sleep, eat, sleep, play, sleep. The breeder has informed me that, try as she might, she cannot induce them to play the entire time the tourists are there, as they wear out from all the attention and must nap from time to time. They do not perform by the clock as do trained circus animals.
Likewise, your failure to see wildlife is wholly due to their wildness. We cannot compel them to appear on demand without taking away the wild part of the description. Captive animals are available for viewing in zoos all over the world.
Finally, you say the gold panning was cheesy and boring. Really? You didn't find gold with greater value than the cost of the activiy? If it was gambling you were after, you might have chosen a different cruise destination. The panning activity is wholly for the purpose of learning the technique for isolating the gold from the sand and gravel. It is designed to be entertaining, not adventurous.
As to refunding all or part of your money, let me suggest that you come back to Skagway another time. At no cost to you I will provide the following: sourdough starter, coffee, dried beans, basic cooking utensils, tent, blanket, shovel, and gold pan. I will take you to a creek where you can prospect for gold while standing knee deep in near freezing water. I will stop by at the end of a week to see how you are doing. If you have found enough gold to pay your passage, I will return you to Skagway for the trip home. If not, you may stay at the creek for another week. Be sure to keep the coffee and sourdough hot so the meals will be satisfactory. Knowing that you must find gold to pay your way out will keep it from being boring or cheesy. If you have one, you may bring with you a dog who never sleeps. He might come in handy in alerting you when wildlife is in the area.
Again, thank you for your comments. We continually strive to improve our service and product while keeping the costs affordable.
Your request for refund has been denied by the board of review at this time.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Is the jinx off?
Sunday it rained and the smoke came in. Monday the rain was gone, but the smoke from countless fires reduced visibility to less than half a mile. At the end of the day my eyes hurt and my voice was almost gone from the smoke. Today the day started out smokey but it cleared as the day went on. My passengers were from the east so they thought this was a clear day. They were in awe at the mountains and lakes. But best of all, we saw a bear, a moose, and two goats.
The bear was one of the ones I saw on Sunday. The moose was the first one I have been able to show to tourists. The goats were two of the six that have been there since my hair-brained idea. My passengers were appropriately impressed with my animal spotting ability, so I told them I came by it genetically since both my parents were good at it.
Yesterday the smoke was so bad we couldn't have seen any animals even if they were there. But my passengers were really excited to see the salmon in Pullen Creek (which is like a ditch as it runs through town) because their earlier attempts had failed.
Peggie's addition: Bill just went outside to sit on the pallet patio, drink lemonade, eat peanuts and visit with Brother Don. Maybe he'll talk about the jinx later...or, maybe not. Karin and I just spent a couple hours visiting so we're finished for the night. We don't get to visit much at work although we're fellow schleppers. We just roll our eyes together!!
The bear was one of the ones I saw on Sunday. The moose was the first one I have been able to show to tourists. The goats were two of the six that have been there since my hair-brained idea. My passengers were appropriately impressed with my animal spotting ability, so I told them I came by it genetically since both my parents were good at it.
Yesterday the smoke was so bad we couldn't have seen any animals even if they were there. But my passengers were really excited to see the salmon in Pullen Creek (which is like a ditch as it runs through town) because their earlier attempts had failed.
Peggie's addition: Bill just went outside to sit on the pallet patio, drink lemonade, eat peanuts and visit with Brother Don. Maybe he'll talk about the jinx later...or, maybe not. Karin and I just spent a couple hours visiting so we're finished for the night. We don't get to visit much at work although we're fellow schleppers. We just roll our eyes together!!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Speaking of signs...
There are some other signs we are surprised to see.
Signs of autumn.
Yes, I know it is August 3rd.
Several trees (species) are already turning yellow. Some shrubs are turning red. The berries are ripening. (raspberries, blackberries, elder berries, mountain ash, devil's club, blueberries) The fireweed is almost over. There is a rhyme-When the fireweed starts to look like cotton, thoughts of summer are forgotten. The grasses are losing their green. We already mentioned that it gets dark at night now (for a few hours). Last year's snow is almost gone.
How can this be?
It has to. Winter starts in October.
Signs of autumn.
Yes, I know it is August 3rd.
Several trees (species) are already turning yellow. Some shrubs are turning red. The berries are ripening. (raspberries, blackberries, elder berries, mountain ash, devil's club, blueberries) The fireweed is almost over. There is a rhyme-When the fireweed starts to look like cotton, thoughts of summer are forgotten. The grasses are losing their green. We already mentioned that it gets dark at night now (for a few hours). Last year's snow is almost gone.
How can this be?
It has to. Winter starts in October.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
"Stupid is as stupid does..." F. Gump
Well there are days and there are days. Sometimes you should have stayed in bed.
Today was back to "normal" with chilly air and clouds threatening rain. My run today was to Emerald Lake and Carabou Crossing. For the first time this summer we were in rain every foot of the way. After about 20 miles the color of the air changed. It became obvious from the coloration, then the odor, that much of the grayness was due to smoke from wildfires, not just rain. There were no photo ops for my passengers except the "Welcome to Yukon" sign due to the poor visibility, about half a mile. No photo ops means poor tips. Horseback riding in pouring rain also did not bode well. When some people stayed on the bus rather than photograph rain on the Carcross Desert, I really got worried if they were enjoying themselves at all.
But I couldn't leave it there. No, I had to RUN OUT OF GAS!!
Now, understand, today was what we call an early ship day. All the ships leave at 4:30 or 5:00. The cardinal rule of tour running is to get people back to the ships on time. We ran out of gas an hour out of Skagway, two hours before final boarding. The first few people who stopped had no room for more people. But in about 15 minutes that seemed longer, we got everyone back on their way to Skagway with messages to call Dave with my location and problem. And not one of them gave me a tip. They have the best story of the entire cruise, and you know they will tell it forever, but did they thank me? Nooooo.
However, after the first group left and only one couple remained, a bear crossed the road about 50 yards away. We wouldn't have seen it if we hadn't stopped. Still no tip!
After just two and a half hours of waiting(and that bus is now cleaner inside than it has been all summer), I was gassed up and on my way back. I saw another bear and a coyote I would otherwise have missed.
Besides cleaning the bus, I had time to figure out how a bus could use a whole tank of gas on a trip that usually consumes just 16-18 gallons. Leak? No smell of gas. Running too rich? Nope, running just fine. Some punk siphoned it while I was parked at Carcross? Maybe.
Then it hit me. Our usual (always) procedure is to gas up after a run, so the bus is ready in the morning. I had done that on Friday, as usual. But this was not that bus. This was the bus I brought back from Whitehorse at 11:00 at night. No fill up.
So, stupid, here's your tip----always, always, always actually read the gas gauge along with the rest of the pre-trip inspection.
Karma got me. I was wearing my secret "tourists are stupid" shirt. tsk, tsk, tsk.
Today was back to "normal" with chilly air and clouds threatening rain. My run today was to Emerald Lake and Carabou Crossing. For the first time this summer we were in rain every foot of the way. After about 20 miles the color of the air changed. It became obvious from the coloration, then the odor, that much of the grayness was due to smoke from wildfires, not just rain. There were no photo ops for my passengers except the "Welcome to Yukon" sign due to the poor visibility, about half a mile. No photo ops means poor tips. Horseback riding in pouring rain also did not bode well. When some people stayed on the bus rather than photograph rain on the Carcross Desert, I really got worried if they were enjoying themselves at all.
But I couldn't leave it there. No, I had to RUN OUT OF GAS!!
Now, understand, today was what we call an early ship day. All the ships leave at 4:30 or 5:00. The cardinal rule of tour running is to get people back to the ships on time. We ran out of gas an hour out of Skagway, two hours before final boarding. The first few people who stopped had no room for more people. But in about 15 minutes that seemed longer, we got everyone back on their way to Skagway with messages to call Dave with my location and problem. And not one of them gave me a tip. They have the best story of the entire cruise, and you know they will tell it forever, but did they thank me? Nooooo.
However, after the first group left and only one couple remained, a bear crossed the road about 50 yards away. We wouldn't have seen it if we hadn't stopped. Still no tip!
After just two and a half hours of waiting(and that bus is now cleaner inside than it has been all summer), I was gassed up and on my way back. I saw another bear and a coyote I would otherwise have missed.
Besides cleaning the bus, I had time to figure out how a bus could use a whole tank of gas on a trip that usually consumes just 16-18 gallons. Leak? No smell of gas. Running too rich? Nope, running just fine. Some punk siphoned it while I was parked at Carcross? Maybe.
Then it hit me. Our usual (always) procedure is to gas up after a run, so the bus is ready in the morning. I had done that on Friday, as usual. But this was not that bus. This was the bus I brought back from Whitehorse at 11:00 at night. No fill up.
So, stupid, here's your tip----always, always, always actually read the gas gauge along with the rest of the pre-trip inspection.
Karma got me. I was wearing my secret "tourists are stupid" shirt. tsk, tsk, tsk.
Priceless time off
I am secretly wearing my Moratorium shirt which Peggie featured in the previous entry. I wear one of my solar shirts over it. But I know the message is there.
Peggie is having a rare treat, three consecutive days off. She traded with Janie because Janie's daughter is coming for a visit next weekend.
Friday night after work I took a bus to Whitehorse for repairs, trading it for a bus already there. Peggie went along for the ride. On the way up we saw a fox. Cool, but no big deal. However, the return trip held our interest. We left Whitehorse at about 10:00pm local time. We were treated to a real southwest-style sunset, complete with golden clouds and pink and orange sky. It was the first sunset we have seen this summer. Then it started to get dark. Then we saw the moon rising. We have not seen the moon all summer either. It was barely above the southern horizon and was beautiful above the mountains. Then we saw a planet. Probably Jupiter or Saturn.
We did not see any stars since the sky never achieved full blackness and there was thin cloud cover. Then we saw a bear. He was black. I saw him in the headlights (first time we really needed headlights to see) by the road. We had to turn around for a look-see. He obliged by crossing the road and he was the largest black bear we have seen up here. His coat was glossy reflecting the headlights. He did not stick around long, but his size and the darkness made him more ominous.
Saturday we both had off so we took the Fjord Express to Juneau. It was the best recreation we have done so far. First off, the boat ride was amazing. Just watching the coast mountains and waterfalls and glaciers with no names was all amazing. But we also saw harbor seals and sea lions hauled up on the rocks, lots of bald eagles and eagle nests, and on the return trip, orcas and humpbacks and Dall porpoises. There were lighthouses and gold mines on the islands and mountains. In Juneau, we took the cable tram up Mount Roberts. The mountain has hundreds of miles of tunnels from gold mining. Much of downtown Juneau and the airport are built on the waste rock from the mines. The tram ride was spectacular. Over 3100 feet on a single span of cable, rising 1800 feet above the port. Then the bus took us to Mendenhall Glacier for a too-short visit. One could spend a day there easily. All in all it was a great day. We will probably have to do it again.
Peggie is having a rare treat, three consecutive days off. She traded with Janie because Janie's daughter is coming for a visit next weekend.
Friday night after work I took a bus to Whitehorse for repairs, trading it for a bus already there. Peggie went along for the ride. On the way up we saw a fox. Cool, but no big deal. However, the return trip held our interest. We left Whitehorse at about 10:00pm local time. We were treated to a real southwest-style sunset, complete with golden clouds and pink and orange sky. It was the first sunset we have seen this summer. Then it started to get dark. Then we saw the moon rising. We have not seen the moon all summer either. It was barely above the southern horizon and was beautiful above the mountains. Then we saw a planet. Probably Jupiter or Saturn.
We did not see any stars since the sky never achieved full blackness and there was thin cloud cover. Then we saw a bear. He was black. I saw him in the headlights (first time we really needed headlights to see) by the road. We had to turn around for a look-see. He obliged by crossing the road and he was the largest black bear we have seen up here. His coat was glossy reflecting the headlights. He did not stick around long, but his size and the darkness made him more ominous.
Saturday we both had off so we took the Fjord Express to Juneau. It was the best recreation we have done so far. First off, the boat ride was amazing. Just watching the coast mountains and waterfalls and glaciers with no names was all amazing. But we also saw harbor seals and sea lions hauled up on the rocks, lots of bald eagles and eagle nests, and on the return trip, orcas and humpbacks and Dall porpoises. There were lighthouses and gold mines on the islands and mountains. In Juneau, we took the cable tram up Mount Roberts. The mountain has hundreds of miles of tunnels from gold mining. Much of downtown Juneau and the airport are built on the waste rock from the mines. The tram ride was spectacular. Over 3100 feet on a single span of cable, rising 1800 feet above the port. Then the bus took us to Mendenhall Glacier for a too-short visit. One could spend a day there easily. All in all it was a great day. We will probably have to do it again.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Bill's New T-shirt
I couldn't resist getting this for Bill. It was an impulse buy that was just the "perfect thing".
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